I am a twenty-six year old, a twenty-six year old who refuses to live an ordinary life. A life where, I am forced to believe in you complete mes and happily ever afters when neither exist. A life where, marriage is not a choice but a ritual; a ritual of sacrifice.
It’s kind of funny, how for most people life revolves around getting married. You see the solution to all our problems is getting married. Too happy? Get married. Too depressed? Get married. Most of my friends are happily married and I am happy for them, I truly am but the thought that this would be me someday scares the flying crap out of me.
In a world where feelings mean so little to people, marriage is a mere obligation that they need to fulfill. People fall in love with bodies and faces and how do you compete with that? How do you compete, when all you have is a soft heart and a strong mind?
You see marriage is the real deal, once you sign up for it there’s no way out. It’s as a constant burden, a responsibility and a pressure that could destroy you as a person. The burden of always having to do and be your best, the responsibility of always loving and wanting to be loved the same way. The pressure of never being good enough or being able to make it last, the fear of your trust being breached- if you do manage to trust someone in the first place. The fear of losing, the fear of ceasing to love, the fear of letting go, the fear of being cheated on. How do you live with someone with all this doubt?
Love has been lost, passion forgotten. Passion rather, is a term alien to us now. The only passion we know or can possibly think of is of that in bed. How do you choose to spend your life living with someone who doesn’t share the same level of passion as you? How do you make the scarifies you make in a relationship that doesn’t bring you joy? How do you live with someone for the sake of it? How do you live with someone who doesn’t share your intellect, at least some of it? How do you live with someone who doesn’t share your taste in music? I mean can you imagine the misery, the turmoil, the mayhem, the chaos if by any chance Slipknot and Yo Yo Honey Singh co existed in the same room? You get the idea!
I hate the thought of being someone who takes away someone’s privacy from them, their independence, their existence. Because as soon as you get married there’s this gigantic burden of someone’s happiness that is mercilessly, thrown on your shoulders whether or not you’re ready to carry it.
And the agony doesn’t really end here, lets not forget the stork that deliveries babies. How do you raise these little creatures? How do you not fail at parenting? How do you answer their questions about life when you have not quite figured them out yourself? How do you know what’s right and what’s wrong for them? I mean is it really that necessary to bring innocent souls to this cruel world just because you love babies?
Maybe it’s not even the idea of marriage itself that’s scary but the idea of being married to the wrong person that’s so terrifying. Yet again, how do you really know who’s the right person and how do you know if it will last forever, even if there’s a right person? And if there’s no right person what do you do? Marry the next option you find and suffer the agony of conviction?